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Escape from Woomera game

I'm beating Melissa to reporting what's in the newspapers for once. On a two year-old story.

Escape from Woomera is availble to download as a Halflife patch.

WTF is Woomera, ask our international visitors. It's where some of the refugess that arrive in Australia go to be incarcerated while they wait to see if their migration application is approved.

And some poeple have made/are making a computer game that let's you try to escape. For the typical inmate they probably only have a period of days or maybe weeks, but if you are shady looking and have a dodgy past you can spend up to several years before your deadline to escape comes up.

Read more here and here. Ad you can download a beta version here.

This beats Bully for my favorite unplayed game of 2006. Even though its from 2004.

Top 10 ugly people

I just don't think we're doing enough to live up to this site's name.
Maybe we need more midget porn?

Or maybe we need a regular format - say a list of some sort?

What say you people?

Nah - we'll just keep linking to other people's cool websites.

Like this guy who is running short tv shows from his myspace site. Check it out here: Keeping Calm

Joke

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.  "Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen.  The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You going to tell him, or should I?

kids.net.au

I followed the trail from wrongtown.net to technocrati:wrongtown to this blog which then led me to this Aussie legend of a website; Kids.net.au.

It's a kids search engine. You know, young people. And it has this to say about sexual bondage.





(an aside; a Comedian once said I like Kids... yeah I like people... for a while.)

Aquaman Movie Clip

Forget Transformers - Aquaman is gonna rock!

I hope they make a sequal (and that Kevin Smith writes it!)

Can you see Jesus?

one for the grills

 

Don't P in my ool

Laugh? I pissed myself....



... in the pool....,

weeeeeeeeeeeee

Oh my god! And then there was this guy and he goes, "Hey, I gotta knife and i go, Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!"

Gonads and Strife!

Touching wires causes death!

 

Advice for those bad days at work

Got 'im

joke

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in
the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."

Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."

They decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their
claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy.

"It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world,"

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am officially the smallest
person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and simply stated,

"Who the hell is Philip Ruddock?"

Sunshine, Mt Druitt, Wyongah...

It sure isn't Intel inside...

AUSTRAiLIAN SEX

I am disgusted

but very amused

LOw Brow but Funny
e.g.
AUSTRAILIAN SEX
licking your partner's back, starting
at the neck and taking almost an
hour to reach his or her rear end; "cat bath."

What THe are we just a nation of Back lickers !!
!another e.g.
GLORY HOLE
a crotch-high hole in a partition between two
enclosed areas that a penis can be stuck
through. Located in places where gay guys
cruise: the baths, video booths, tea rooms, etc.

the funny bit
GLORY-HOLE PROTOCOL
one shouldn't indiscriminately stick his penis
through a glory hole and hope for the best.
He might try looking through it first. If the
person on the other side is hard and stroking,
he might then poke a finger through.
If a finger from the other side returns the
gesture, it's time to play ball. Or he might
stroke his own penis as a sign of availability
until a guy on the other side bites. All is
nonverbal. There is no room for small talk
in the world of cruising and glory holes.

















was it andy f that got the Glory Hole nod
Ten years ago ????? at the Pleasure Chest


thanks to the resources of
http://www.goofyfootpress.com/sexterms/index.php

SPACEBALLS

Cosmonaut Mikhail Tyurin plans to begin a
spacewalk set for Wednesday evening by
knocking a lightweight golf ball off a tee
placed on the top of the Russian docking port.
Tyurin's drive is expected to be one for the
record books, though not everyone agrees
on how long the ball will fly. NASA figures
it will fall into Earth's atmosphere and be
incinerated within three days. Element
21 Golf is betting on three years.

Well my balls have been falling to Earth
for years and they still have not hit the
ground Yet !!

Complaints Choir of Birmingham

This is a copy of the Helsinki Complaints Choir and almost as good.

Why does wrongtown settle for second best? Because it's in English.

The Helsinki one is here

Politics - State Election Question # 1

If you knew you were going to lose an election would you bother to keep running TV ads?

The Victorian Liberal (Tory/Republican) opposition leader Ted has been dealt fatal blow after fatal blow.

#1 I profited of my former bosses policies when he was in charge.
Apparently the previous liberal governement iin Vic sold off schools in a fund raising, privatisation scheme. This guy win the contract to be the real estate agent to sell some/many. NowI am really really rich.

#2 My mother publicly says she would rather I lose.
Mum has signs on her front lawn promoting the labour (Labour/Democrat) party canidate. The TV stations ask hom waht his reponse is and he says in a democracy everyone can vote for whoever they want.

#3 His name is Ted
Ha ha - like Teddy bear. But he hasn't even got a cool nickname like Big Ted, or Teddy or Tedster. Nuffin.


Anyway, I didn't know politics could be so boring. Bring on the Federal election I say.

Entourage - Ari Gold's Best

Entourage it hot. It’s a TV series about a guy who’s a new and relatively successful movie star. Yeah – he’s moving on up from a $2million fee. The story follows Vince and his buddies on their misadventures – too much time and money and no responsibility in Hollywood. Everyone has their moments of goodness and their months of badness.

Americans – you know this show.

Australians – it ain’t on our TV but do what you can to get your hands on a copy. I’ve watched the first few episodes and it’s a classic.

The best/worst character in Vince’s agent Ari. This clip shows you a few of his highlights. Enjoy,,,

(Thanks to D.O. for pointing me at it.)

The Big Lebowski - Short Version

Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Proof that British Tourists ARE as retarded as everyone suspects

From Tony at Key Reports

Adam Hill's Advance Australia Fair

Replayed on TV again tonight.

(And this should make a return to wrongtown on Jan 26)

When it's really hot outside...

When it's really hot outside...
Originally uploaded by Mark Klotz.

I hope this guy wipes down the seat when he gets home.

Even moreson I hope this isn't a rented bike.

Want fries with that?

Them wacky Americans huh. Now they'd put the world's biggest logo in a field in Nevada, which apparently can be seen from space. Looks kinda fake to me.












Image from Routers or AAP or something - via SMH

KENNY: The Movie Trailer

bloody tops

You should have been here last week

 

Gigs; Datsuns and Kim Salmon

The Datsuns
Playing at the Hi Fi bar on Wed 22 Nov, and The Tote on Thursday 23rd.

Kim Salmon and the Surrealists
Playing at the Northcote Social Club on Saturday the 25th November.

And there is a good Kim Salmon article here if you want to read more.


See More local Australian gigs at Live Guide

Listen to Australian (and Kiwi) Music at Australian Music Online

Speaking of the Melbourne Cup

Here are a few pics from on the ground.

The thing about this day is women take the opportunity to put on nice dresses and fancy hats. It's all about the fashion.

Men are left with boring old suits...
Or they can take the fancy dress challenge.

Or the Bodypaint challenge.

Or the bodypiercing challenge

Who knew we had a door bitch?

Our doorbitch Loz says

"PERK THE FUCK UP CAUSE ITS ALL ABOUT ME ME ME"

And naturally it is. Loz is from Melbourne, is 22 yo and single. She drinks and smokes. She's an Aquarius.

I really don't get this whole myspace thing. I must just be old but myspace pages seem like a pointless public mess with half spoken conversations and annoying music tracks by really bad bands that suck.

Speaking of myspace, there is a fellow blogger (it really is us and them isn't it?) that is reviewing Myspace bands. Given that there are no quality barriers to posting music to myspace you can imagine the reviews.

Here is an example;
Hollywood Undead - Their fanbase is almost as stupid as their music. Read more at myspcebandreviews

Anyway... at least we have a doorbitch to keep out the riff raff.

Metal: Headbanger's Journey

Check this new movie out.

Mr Fantastic joins Soccer Australia

Real football!

Milton, Milton, Milton

Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Frank Zappa


What a bad couple of weeks for the Iemma government. Scully sacked for misleading Parliament last week, lead-foot Kerry Hickey caught speaking 45km over the limit, and now Milton Orkopoulos, Member for Swansea and Minister for Aboriginal Affairs has been sacked from the Cabinet and quite possibly as a ALP member of State Parliament following an announcement that he's been charged with a number of serious sexual offences, some of them involving minors, over the last 10 years or so.

Word on the street is he's been involved in prostitution (though I don't imagine it's soliciting - he's not the most attractive of men) and selling cannabis.

Incidentally I met him last week, and definitely got the impression that not only was he a bit of a dill, but also rather sleazy.

Bad news for the Iemma government's re-election campaign. It will certainly be an interesting, not to mention stressful, few months.

To read more about the downward spiral of Milton, visit the SMH website.

US Elections

Can one of our friendly US readers explain why there's an election this week over there? I thought you had elections every 4 years, with the last 2 in 2000 and 2004.

Maybe you can also explain the significance of your election being held on our Melbourne Cup day? (Because there is obviously a link - it's the race that stops the nation....... maybe that's my answer)

Speaking of Melbourne Cup, hey C Dubya Brown! I placed a dollar-each-way bet on the horse your namesake is racing on - Mathtoum - which unfortunately appears to be a bit of a long shot... I think it'll pay around $150 if it wins, according to current odds. If she (he?) comes in, drinks on me!! (Andrew, I drank Bulmers at the Crown last night - feelin' seedy as this moanin)

Coit, anyone?

Important Community Announcement

The Immigration Debate

They must be expecting a rush

the middle of nowhere
Originally uploaded by dlemieux.

doh!

doh!
Originally uploaded by sheeshoo.

Hello-een

He shoots and scores!

Who said white men can't jump? And who needs to jump anyway when you can shoot like this?

If you like your edumacation deliverred in a dramatic way check out the Encyclopedia Dramatica, where they have this to say about Russia:

Russians are big, androgynous people, except for the hot ones that are advertised for mail-order purchase. Rental or leasing arrangements are also available.

Orphans are also readily available from Russia, as baby factories are set up in Siberia to fuel their child prostitution and pornography industries. Generally a Russian baby can be bought for a bunch of bananas and several pairs of used Levi jeans. Russian babies come with a 2-year warranty, but does not cover defects caused by misuse or mishandling.

News of the weird

News of the Weird is a weekly newspaper column published continuously since February 1988, now in more than 250 daily and weekly newspapers in the U.S. and Canada and on several websites. News of the Weird, and this blog, reference only credible news reported as news by mainstream news organizations.

For example:
Below The Fold

An apparently legitimate Australian charity worker impressed a woman very much with his helpfulness, until, that is, he informed her that, "As part of our charity we also change diapers for $1" . . . . . Yet another way to cut those religious corners to salvation: For about $3,100, a guy will make a pilgrimage for Catholics to the holy Sanctuary of Fatima in Portugal . . . . . He took his daughter trick-or-treating, but the cheapest costume he could find was his own old jail jumpsuit . . . . . In Birmingham, England, it got out that the gov’t actually paid a lightbulb-changer about twice as much yearly as the average worker . . . . . Unless the federal gov’t of India objects, Bangalore will soon become the more-ethnic Bengaluru, which means "town of boiled beans" (stemming from a 14th century king’s taste buds) . . . . . Police in Aurora, Colo., are looking for two "heavy-set" girls who went around robbing kids of their candy on Halloween . . . . . Masashi Kamata, 28, was arrested in Nagoya, with 5,000 pairs of stolen slippers in a rented warehouse ("Indoor shoes for school sexually stimulate me") . . . . . The Dept of Health and Human Services is revising its federal grant guidelines for 2007 to offer money for abstinence-only sex education programs to people as old as, er, 29.

New Look Barbie

Advertising in the car industry

Interesting business venture

Apparently some dude has been seen lurking around baby change rooms in the city, offering a dollar to change babies nappies.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/toilet-nappy-change-offer-probed/2006/11/01/1162278174643.html

Trick-o-treat!

Yesterday was Halloween.

Not that we celebrate it here in Australia. Well, not with any conviction. As I was arriving home last night, at around 6:30pm, there were two kids with "Allens Lollies" bags knocking door to door in a very half-arsed attempt at trick-or-treating. Not only were they not in anything that even remotely resembled a costume, when they knocked on the door they vaguely thrust the (Allens Sponsored) bag at the unsuspecting home occupant with an air of what could have been disinterest, I guess assuming they need not utter a word to receive the expected booty of lollies.

I suppose I DO live in the inner Sydney suburbs, and therein breeds a certain level of inherent arrogance.

As I've got a reputation to maintain as being a cranky old woman in number 35 (not bad for someone at the ripe old age of 34 years), I didn't give them any treats (for chrissakes, they could have thrown a white sheet over their heads and pulled off a semi-reasonable ghost, or at the very least, a dodgy KKK member) and wasn't able to think quick enough to come up with a suitably respectable trick.

So we're both screwed in the Halloween stakes.

Then just after 9:30 there was a loud crash at the front door. Upon investigation, it turned out to be a trio of ghouls screaming TRICK OR TREAT!!!! Which instantly put me into a panic, because I didn't actually think I had anything to give them, apart from some tins of flavoured tuna in the cupboard. Luckily I remembered a ratty old back of candy left over from last year's trip to the States. Sure they'd be fairly crusty and old, but would kids really care that much? Or more importantly, be able to deduce who off-loaded the crappy old has-been chocolates? It was American chocolate, which is quite hideous in comparison to our Cadbury Dairy Milk blocks. To give you an idea of how just disgusting it is, even my stoner friend turned his nose up to it on a number of occasions when gripped by the throes of an extreme munchies attack.

At least the house didn't get egged I guess. And maybe I'm just pissed I didn't think to dig out my funky black witches hat that I bought last year in Vegas, complete with the lovely tresses of plastic black hair and interspersed with streaks of flashing red optic fibre strands.