Iron Crotch

(From SMH Website)


Iron Crotch strikes a seriously low point in martial arts.

Its 50-year-old grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng has shown his true mettle by tugging a truck across a Californian car park with his penis.

But first, as the Tri-Valley Herald reports, Master Tu got an assistant to kick him hard between the legs before lashing himself to the rental truck with a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles.

The fabric was tugged hard to make sure there'd be no slippage. Then the Master went to work.

"Jin-Sheng groaned, grunted and pressed against two men for resistance," reports the Herald. "Then, slowly, the truck began to roll forward."

The event took place last week in an office park in Fremont and was filmed by a crew shooting Penis Envy, scheduled to be shown on Channel 4 in the UK next year.

Master Tu, adds the Herald, is said to have 60,000 followers worldwide.

"Its practitioners are known to lift hundreds of pounds with their genitals to increase energy and sexual performance."

And everything appears to be in working order for Master Tu, who, with his wife Sanday, has four children - all, naturally, martial artists.

Among his other talents are the ability to hammer in nails with his fist, stand on eggs without breaking them, chop through a steel pipe with his hand, and painting.

bush

Did you know that Timoth Bottoms, W impersonator, kicked his acting career off as Joe in Johnny got his gun?

Special request

A request from a previous post...

So why are J-girls so cute?

T-Shirts for sale

Order your Big Dick T-Shirt now! (You small cock wonder!)

Look up there!

Up there - Is that superman?
I hope your eyehole turns into an arsehole and you get shit in your fingernails!

Drunk Monkey?

Dwarf sports

Sick of watersports? Who can blame you.

Dwarf sports - now that's where it's at. But which one is the one for the team here at wrongtown? That's a toughie. Maybe some comments can help us out.

Dwarf Throwing?
Unlike dominoes, this pub sport can be played by anyone, as the need for heavy consumption of alcoholic beverages as preparation purposes is completely optional, but strongly recommended.

Dwarf Basketball?

Or Dwarf porn?
(You guys can be soooo predictable...)

or maybe ...

cars!

Lending shit to your friends

Don't you hate it when you lend, like a book or a CD to a friend and then they don't return it in the same condition you loaned it in... like the CD is scratched and your favorite track is now gone. Wouldn't it be crap if they did that to something important and expensive like, say your girlfriend or rifle, or oh... your car?

Chuck Norris

Some interesting Chuck Norris FACTS...

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "BOOYA".

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, then you may be only seconds away from death.

Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to roundhouse his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, but he swiftly declined, instead opting for super strength roundhouse ability.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you grimly before unleashing a flurry of roundhouses.

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When Norris lost in the game, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the face.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful that it can be seen from outer space with the naked eye.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.

Chuck Norris once burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

One time while sparring with a bear, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the blue ringed octopus of Eastern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's father.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poops them out transformed into a robot.

Vogon Game

Play this

Cool graffiti in Melbourne

I like this graffiti because it shows commitment. Forget fancy murals and artistic design. The kids who did this job had kahunas. And time and plenty of paint. 2 sides of the building are covered.

RTA new technology

sorry bout the semi nudity ,,,,
it aint porn its a way of life just fun with your fiddly bits
now go put your arse cheeks on the photo copier you bunch of lily livered ,,, soft cock chumps .... i wish i could do this ..... wow

Hey Hey Hey!

What do these two things have in common?

Chopper - extra large

Fancy Rooting?

Cock-head!

Bad Vibes

Fingernails scraping down a blackboard... the scream of a baby... your neighbour's dog barking: what is the worst sound in the world? This is what this website is trying to find out.

Go here to listen and rate them.

oral sex

Goddamn it. How much does this suck...


* * * * * *

Certain cases of mouth cancer appear to be caused by a virus that can be contracted during oral sex, a Swedish study shows.

People who contract a high-risk variety of the human papilloma virus, HPV, during oral sex are more likely to develop mouth cancer, according to a study conducted at the Malmoe University Faculty of Odontology in southern Sweden.

"You should avoid having oral sex," dentist and researcher Kerstin Rosenquist, who headed the study, told Swedish news agency TT.

Suckers!

clowning around

Thomas Johnson, an amateur social worker and professional children's party entertainer known as Tommy the Clown, is credited with inventing clowning -- a spasmodic style of dance that incorporates the raunchy butt shimmying common in the shadowy world of chrome poles, G-strings and $5 bills. As his fame grew, Johnson realized he could use the lure of dance as an alternative to gangs and drugs. He quickly gained a following of clowning proteges. Clowning begat krumping, which looks like a mixture of traditional African tribal dances, street fighting and the physical evocation of spiritual ecstasy.

more? more more? more more more?

Scaramanga wasn’t a freak

How many people get Extra Nipples?

About 1 in 10 people or 27.2 million people in the USA have an extra nipple but most are small, misshapen, and mistaken for freckles or moles. Go get it pierced.

automo-bile

I was looking around to compare hybrid engine cars… Toyota has the Prius. I’d heard Honda had one so went to their website where I found their ecologically friendly car isn’t petrol electric…

"The new-generation i-DSI automo-bile engine

…the new engine delivers intensive combustion throughout the combustion chamber by staggering the timing of ignition on the intake side. As a result, the Fit boasts muscular driving power combined with a phenomenal fuel efficiency… "

- care of honda's website

Ouch.

A US man is suing his ex-girlfriend in for more than $40,600 for supergluing his genitals to his abdomen.

Kenneth Slaby of Greensburg, Pennsylvania, broke up with Gail O'Toole in 1999, after dating for 10 months.

Slaby then began dating someone else but, according to the lawsuit, O'Toole invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep.

When he woke up, Slaby found that O'Toole had glued his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish.

O'Toole allegedly told him it was payback for their breakup, and he had to walk almost 2 kilometres to a petrol station to call for help.

"This was not just some petty domestic squabble," Slaby's lawyer Grey Pratt said.

O'Toole had pleaded guilty to misdemeanour assault and served six months' probation, but her ex-boyfriend is now suing for her damages.

Her lawyer, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act and Slaby wasn't permanently damaged.

"This is a case that should have been left in the bedroom," he said.

AP

Yer Plumbing?

Got a Problem With Yer Plumbing?

Saw this on Second Street, Long Beach yesterday.

Nice bit of fisting action on the logo. Them there Yanks are plain loco.

Big boys toys

When I was 10 years old my poor friends in our poor neighbourhood, my poor brother and poor me used to play a poor kids game. We’d get junk mail from toy stores and K-mart and the like and instead of going down to the store and buying the latest greatest star wars toy we would take turns flicking over the page and then each of us would as quick as we could point at the toy we wanted most on the new page calling ‘Mine!’ Much cheaper than buying a Boba Fett action figure at $1.95.

Anyway, things have changed a little and while not rich I could afford to buy all the Star Wars merchandise I wanted… almost.

View a movie of this thing in action here

What's for dinner?

bird flu

First American Victim of Bird Flu